Duck Taco, Anyone?

Constable Pam Matranga
[Duck taco not pictured]

Everything's bigger in Texas, right? The hair, the heat, the harassment ... Wait, what? Well, according to the allegations made by Deputy James P. Gist against his former boss, Constable Pam Matranga, spilling Coke on one's "canooki" is actionable, especially if you then point out where your "canooki" is - circular motions around vaginal area - and ask your male employees if they want some.

And this other time?

Gist said he was sitting near Matranga at her desk when he dropped his pen and bent down to pick it up. "When he did so, defendant Matranga said, 'While you're down there, why don't you help yourself to some 'duck taco'?"

I don't know 'bout y'all but I believe Wham Bam Pam was just being hospitable. It's the Texas way, is it not? Offer a man some food. He probably appeared hungry. And it was probably duck taco hunting season. I don't see what all the fuss is about.

Deputy Gist doesn't like that women fart while rubbing the clothing covering their canooki. So he's suing for damages incurred as a result of this egregious, alleged sexual harassment, which may or may not have included some "forced motorboating" according to the Houston Press. We're just gon' walk away now ...



Signed,

CacklingMonkey

Ed. Note: H/T to our big Texas buddy @scottk75 for sending us this hilarious very serious news item. Allegations of sexual harassment are not to be taken lightly. A man could be traumatized for life after being subjected to such acts as unsolicited lap dances. Think about it.